Not feeling capable or courageous enough to hold space for the emotions of another is because we lack understanding for what they are experiencing and the same goes for when we are unable to be present with our own ideas and sensations. In direct measure, when we meet ourselves with curiosity and acceptance, our ability to allow and contain others is enhanced. Proportionately, opening our hearts to ourselves correlates to how well we are able to open our own hearts to the experiences of those around us.
This “we are all one” perspective provides us an initial step into cultivating ways to meet challenging moments with more resilience. Enacting empathy, using gentleness, and practicing compassion is how we become more present and more aware. Being aware provides us with a template for seeing the world with more balance. As we practice being present we view the world with less reactionary impulses and acceptance.
The process by which we are able to encounter the world with more resiliency is to cultivate a present mind. When we are in a state of awareness we:
- listen with more depth
- see life with less reactivity
- we view our existence with more spaciousness
- see symptoms with clarity and patience
- enact character deepening behaviors
- stabilize our attention on things that are under our control
Finding moments throughout the day to use a focus of awareness is similar to what it feels like when you pause and reflect on the moment to moment details without a need to respond to them. Most of the time we forget how to sit and observe without needing to fill our time with more stimulus. Contemplative practices infuse our senses with a clearer perspective of what is happening around us.
Make an effort to establish a habit that slows down the process of life, such as driving without music on, taking extra time to notice tastes and smells of the food you ingest. Make it a priority each day to pause before reaching for your phone or for the remote. And try to really listen with acuteness when a friend or an acquaintance speaks. All of these things is a way to cultivate more mindfulness. The more you practice it the easier it gets. It is an overwhelmingly beneficial practice that infuses life with alertness and more enjoyment for everyday tasks. And more than anything it allows us to turn our attention away from the things we can’t control to shifting our awareness to the priorities that require our full attention.