Validate Others Before Seeking It For Yourself

It is not hard to figure out when you are satisfied. Feeling satiated and content is an unmistakable experience; you just simply ‘are.’ And it feels good. And because of that we seek after satisfying feelings throughout much of our daily life. Being satisfied physically is different than feeling satisfied on an energetic level.


Sometimes we seek after satisfaction in a way that produces misguided results. Often, because it feels good to be told we look thin or that we are special or that someone thinks we are smart, we seek after that type of validation. We waste so much time worrying about what others think about us, what they say about how we look and what they think about how we act. When we seek after validation we set ourselves up for an illusion of misrepresented values. The person who seeks validation from others is the person who has lost sight of the bigger picture.


The truth is, only you can validate you. Rather than seeking after the validation of others, be the person who validates. Instead of searching for feedback and opinions that signal to you that you are ‘good enough,’ be the agent for others to see something great within themselves. This shift in perspective allows for you to be a motivating factor in getting more out of your interactions with others.


Applaud those things that validate your existence instead of your appearance. Validate the effort it takes to get to a state of peace. Validate the results by giving importance to how you got there and why you took the journey in the first place. The best way to validate others is to hold the present moment sacred and let go of the outcome.


Approaching a child, sensing their mood and guessing what they need is an experience most of us have encountered. There’s hesitation, playfulness and even a challenge to stretch yourself to a state we are not accustomed to in the adult word. We put on a silly mood or attempt to be imaginative even when it is not in our nature. It is a most intuitive and sacred moment to meet a child where they are at, not physically, but energetically.


by Sarah Morgan

Art by Sarah Morgan


Sometimes we need to meet our own selves where we are at. This self-reflective act of being curious with ourselves, of taking a moment to pause and give space for that which is of-the-moment, is a necessary step in relinquishing the ego and experiencing peace of mind. It is said that achieving happiness can never be a lasting goal because life brings with it moments of sadness, of disappointment and even anger. Emotions that are authentic to each moment should be met with reverence instead of pushing them away because of who we think we should be and how we wish ourselves to be seen by others. It is appropriate to be sad at times and it is acceptable to be angry. Those emotions do not define who you are. But “peace of mind” can be found in every encounter, even when the emotions present are uncomfortable.


Learning how to meet ourselves authentically where we are at in any given moment is a skill that produces more than just authenticity, it allows for a peace of mind that can resonate with any emotional state and any human encounter. No matter how challenging or difficult a situation, you can meet yourself where you are at. Without pushing, pretending or hiding we can accept ourselves in the allowance of where we are at from moment to moment and learn to be exactly what we are. There is no emotion too great, no situation too enormous that we cannot hold it and reflect with it. Be that person who looks inward with curiosity so that in every encounter you can meet yourself and hold space for all that you are.


Wanting to be validated can sometimes detract from the reasons why we perform certain functions. We go to the gym to loose weight. We seek financial guidance so we can see our monetary funds are maximized. In life, we make choices that will lead to the most fortuitous outcome. We rarely act in a way that dissuades us from the optimal end result. Yet, in moments of fighting for the perfect grade and planning for the most desired aesthetic, we loose sight of the process.


“The process” can mean many different things. The process can refer to a perspective of joy within the journey and it can also mean living-in-the-moment without worry for what comes next.  A shift in perspective from the desired outcome towards an awareness of our moment-to-moment reality is a challenge. Society programs us to be outcome oriented, goal driven and obsessed with measuring results. Yet as individuals, we have the power to choice where our attention should be directed.


Play the audio of gratitude when attempting to perform mundane tasks. Remind yourself that in every task there is an opportunity for growth and expansion. Don’t get lost in the pull towards success, only to find yourself feeling empty at the end of the finish line. Validation should not take precedence over the state of peacefulness that comes from allowing.